Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
