What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize