planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I need to sanitize my soul.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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