Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
as a side note pls kill me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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