In the future we'll all be gay
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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