is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize