Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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