Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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