You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Four minutes until I can fart!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
