Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
