I'm pants shitting drunk right now
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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