Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
