Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
