my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We are two peas in an std pod
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
