Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The struggles of a small town man whore
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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