is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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