Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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