So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
