he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
