i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize