just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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