During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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