the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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