My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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