Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
