how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
