So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
