you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
