dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
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Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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