that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
