ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize