We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
