I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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