ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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