She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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