Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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