i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just pee around me
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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