It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize