Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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