His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
