amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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