you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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