he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
