All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
