so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
