Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
