I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
