you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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