We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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