Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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