I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just found a bag of teeth...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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