I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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