I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
