I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
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I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
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I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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