That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And then my night got REAL pukey
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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