I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
