apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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