I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
