They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
