your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
