I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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