some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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