He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
