I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
