i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
its liver damage thursday
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
