i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
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i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
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Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
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