I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
