Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
